Back from holiday.
While on holiday, I found out a number of disturbing things. First of all, I went off to ESCAPE from everyone and everything at school, having suffered an embarrassing, disturbing, horrifying, tearful and semi-public breakdown week before last, after the exams ended, and who should I meet by the poolside but the school PRINCIPAL.
At least she is really, really nice. I actually really love her (how many people can say that about their principal? at least not here) and think she's underappreciated at our school. She brought me good news. In other words, people think I'm so put together and focused when I actually have no fucking clue what I'm doing with anything.
Oh well. Holidays = fun, especially with cute boys to perve on, except that I discovered another thing about myself. Everyone thinks I'm really confident but I'm actually really withdrawn. I act like a social person but I have a deeply buried wish to just be a happy little people-watcher. F'rinstance, I came back from dinner to have a drink by the beach. (And by drink, I mean non-alcoholic, of course.) Then I got up to stretch my legs. There was this cute white boy sitting at dinner with his parents and as I walked by, he got up and followed me.
Not really wanting to imagine anything was going on that, well, wasn't, I kept walking, and he somehow managed to cross my path about 12 times. We blink. Smile. Blink. Smile. And for the next two days, he hangs around the pool at my feet as I'm sitting in a deckchair reading. He turns up at the beach and starts pretend-surfing right in front of me. We never actually talk to each other, just smile and nod and smile, he told his friend I was beautiful (I think), and then... I totally blow him off when he tries to talk to me.
I was Just. Too. Shy. I can't explain it!
All right all right it was maybe a little funny in retrospect.
Hanson's new album - released on the 20th of April or something like that.
Here the kids are really sheltered. And really a bunch of goody-two-shoes. I remember going into a bathroom in Hawai'i and there was this thing written on the door. "4/20!!!!! ROCK ON!" or something like that. I was like 'What the hell?' and my student teacher told me the significance. Then she asked me whether we'd never done pot before. I was like 'OMG! DRUGS! NO NEVER!' because really, never, I have never even touched alcohol (unlike certain people and prefects I know) and she couldn't believe it.
My other friends don't even know what pot is. We were reading a short story and they thought "coke" was short for Coca-Cola.
In other news, you must read The Tricksters.